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Lyrical [userpic]
by Lyrical (new_birth)
at January 6th, 2006 (09:58 am)

I forgot that this community existed...I started dep_parents when I had just been diagnosed incorrectly as having Major Depression...

My name is Leslie. I am a divorced 42 year old parent of 3 children ages 23, 15 and 7. Yeah-I know. Don't even say it. :-/

My diagnoses are Bipolar II and Anxious Depression. I have never had a full-blown manic attack, and I've only had a few hypomanias.

Mental illness runs in families a lot of times. My daughter (the 23 year old) has periodic issues with depression. My 15 year old son has Asperger's Syndrome. My 7 year old is Bipolar I and has ADHD along with it.

Due to the cost of keeping the family in meds, I had some decisions to make. I currently only take Omega 3 (fish oil). My son with Asperger's is on Seroquel, since he has rages. My 7 year old is on Trileptal and Ritalin.

My 7 year old is doing really well on his current combination. My 15 year old-he is still being tweaked. The fish oil seems to basically work for me-well, except for in December. I get REALLY depressed every December. But to be fair, when I was taking traditional medication, I still got really depressed in December. December is just a really bad month for me-so I'm glad that it is now January.

I have insurance, but the copays have gone up so drastically that it has become a decision of whether to eat or take meds at times...it is sad how the cost of everything continues to rise, but the salaries do not rise along with the cost of living-at least mine doesn't.

Well, that's me. Hello.

Stacy [userpic]
by Stacy (only_ashes17)
at December 31st, 2005 (07:52 pm)

Ok, so I was just sitting here gently bouncing/rocking Corbin. Kinda holding him in my arms, and patting his butt so he bounced a bit to soothe him, right?

Lee just got on my case about it. "You're not sposed to shake babies, Stacy. It can hurt him."

I got really defensive and snapped at him - "There's a difference between shaking and bouncing." =| Can bouncing him really hurt that much?

(x-posted in a few parenting communities)

Stacy [userpic]
by Stacy (only_ashes17)
at December 30th, 2005 (09:56 pm)

Hey, I'm new. Just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Stacy and I have a one-week old baby boy. I'm really glad I found this community. :) I've been looking for a place that I would feel comfortable at because y'all probably understand what's going on in my head more.

Oh yeah, I'm 19 years old. :) Not married, but might be getting engaged soon. (fingers crossed for if he proposes to me or not. lol.) The person I'm with right now is the father of my child. :) Anyways - yeah, that's it. Just wanted to introduce myself. Have a good New Years!

Brittany the Keyblade Master! [userpic]
by Brittany the Keyblade Master! (magic730dreams)
at December 12th, 2005 (09:44 pm)

srry if not allowedCollapse )

Beauty [userpic]
by Beauty (promesasdebella)
at December 7th, 2005 (11:45 am)

current mood: worried
current song: silence

I've been a busy beaver again this morning and while I am here at LJ, I want to get my posts out of the way and then hit the flist.

I think I am in a mild hypo-mania. In fact, I know I am. I've been going like gang busters and accomplishing TONS; pushing myself too hard to accomplish a zillion things; my sleep cycle is completely screwed up, I'm tired during the day and wide awake at night - but I am getting my needed 7 to 10 hours every night; I'm fine when alone, but cranky & irritable when others are around.

I'm wondering if this is a sub-concious attempt to stave off my annual December depression. That kind of scares me if it is. It'd be great to maintain this wonderfully productive hypo-mania until the risk of the depression passes; but there is always a crash that comes after a hypo-mania and that is what scares the hell out of me. Will that crash be worse than actually allowing myself to go through that depression? What happens if the depression does hit? How do I handle it? I've learned how to manage my hypo-manias. It's the depressions that I have trouble with.

Okay. I'm not going to worry about this anymore today. But if anybody has any ideas, I am open to suggestions!


Beauty [userpic]
Drug News
by Beauty (promesasdebella)
at November 6th, 2005 (12:37 pm)
current mood: accomplished

In today's USA Weekend I found this article regarding new drugs that are or will soon be on the market. It may be of interest to many of you. I found the link for it, so here ya go.


Beauty [userpic]
I am so pissed!
by Beauty (promesasdebella)
at November 3rd, 2005 (07:00 pm)
pissed off

current mood: pissed off


State of Illinois at its finest! Luckily I don't need them for my meds. I feel terrible for those that do.


Beauty [userpic]
by Beauty (promesasdebella)
at September 6th, 2005 (08:13 pm)

I was going through some files on my computer and came across this "out of class" journal entry that I had to make for a communications class when I was going to school...I thought it would fit very well here.

I watched The Hours tonight. I haven’t seen it since it first came out on video. Our brief discussion of it last week left me yearning to see it again. I see so much of myself in each of the three women – Virginia Wolf, Clarissa and Laura Brown.

I am able to relate to Laura’s sense of sadness and guilt. It often goes unspoken and remains hidden from those around us, but somehow someone sees it. In Laura’s case it was her son. Her brief battle with the ideation of suicide and her inability to go through with it is all too familiar. I’ve had several “brief” battles with such thoughts.

Clarissa. Organized. Nurturing. Detail-oriented. She kept a smile on her public face; but the confusion, the frustration felt from some source that she can’t quite pinpoint, the overwhelming emotion building inside of her like a pressure cooker is why she is so organized and obsessed by detail – the obsession of the details helps her hide away all the rest of what is going on inside of her; even from herself. When she ended up losing it and collapsing on the kitchen floor I couldn’t help but know exactly what those feelings were. How many times have I done something like that? In the kitchen, in the bathroom, in the bedroom, on the steps going upstairs? So many times I’ve become a bucket of weeping bones that couldn’t exactly tell you what was happening, but please don’t touch me because that would be offering comfort and I am not sure what there is to comfort.

The one I related most to though was Virginia Wolf herself. She was portrayed as intensely fragile and yet possessed of a strength that could protect that vulnerability. I am very much like that. The difference though is that Virginia did not try to hide her fragility behind her strength; whereas, I am most certain to hide my fragility for fear of being exposed as something, I’m just not sure what. I could feel every breath Virginia took. Every movement she made, every look of absorption and pain; I knew them all. I could give so very many examples of how I relate to Virginia in this movie, but the one that strikes me most is at the train station with Leonard. He is telling her they must remain in the country, rather than return to London, for the benefit of her health. He is telling her that London makes her crazier and that the print shop was set up there for her benefit and she should appreciate it. Virginia says incredulously to Leonard, “You call me ungrateful? My life has been stolen from me.” The discussion proceeds and he tells her that she needs to think more clearly. While Virginia’s response is lengthy, it is the truest statement that The Hours makes. “If I were thinking clearly, Leonard, I would tell you that I wrestle alone in the dark, in the deep dark. And only I can understand my own condition. You live with the threat. You tell me you live with the threat of my extinction, Leonard. I live with it too...”

And live with it I must. Day in and day out. That never changes. And while I most related to the melancholy of Virginia Wolf, it was in all of them that I saw the struggle to recognize the stranger in the mirror, the turn to sleep to block the occurrences of our daily lives, the going through the motions and the hiding of our true selves in order to find some sort of elusive sense of peace. “You cannot find peace by avoiding life, Leonard.” Yeah right! Sometimes a little avoidance brings great peace :-)

Every Single Kind of Hero [userpic]
Introduction is in order
by Every Single Kind of Hero (mazz)
at May 15th, 2005 (07:16 pm)

current mood: bored

Hi, I'm Mazz. I have a 2 year old daughter named Angel. I was diagnosed as bi-polar right after getting off heroin. Didn't start meds until after i had my kid and have currently not been taking my medication for about a year. I hate it, they put me on depakote which didn't do anything but make me gain weight. well I pretty much have it under control. the ocassional mood swings. I figured my art helps alot with keeping me in the right state ofmind.

herrr other things. I'm 21 an artist and i have a very bad coffee habbit. so... hi.

Adiekit [userpic]
Mania Test
by Adiekit (adiekit)
at May 11th, 2005 (01:09 pm)

I'm curious- This test popped up on a site about Bi-Polar disorder. By answering a few questions, it will tell you (supposedly) if you are manic right now, and if its serious. I scored a 57, which indicated severe mania. I'm curious to see how others might score- I want to figure out how accurate this may be. I understand tests on the net aren't to be taken seriously, however this one seems to be a bit more "official" than others. Anyway, have at it. And let me know your results, and how accurate you think it may be. :)

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